“Letting Go”
Jesus said to his disciples:
“Beware that your hearts do not become drowsy
from dissipation and drunkenness
and the anxieties of daily life,
and that day catch you by surprise like a trap.
For that day will assault everyone
who lives on the face of the earth.
Be vigilant at all times
and pray that you have the strength
to escape the tribulations that are imminent and to stand before the Son of Man.”
Letting go is hard for me to do. Nietzsche said that “the mother of dissipation is not joy, but joylessness”. My “dissipation” is not drugs are alcohol, but I have trouble with relationships. I have a long time friend now who is very abusive emotionally and I have excused him, felt sorry for him, but now I know I must treat him like with so many others in my life who while a they can not help it, are abusive, I have to put my guard down, not let him close. My relationship with him is pure joylessness, and is destructive to all the other relationships in my life because I let this one effect me. And so now I must be “vigilant at all times” because it is in that vigilance that I do ministry and do it well. I feel like I have failed him, but the reality I have bore with him in patience and tired to work with him, and he has become very abusive, and so now I must dust the feet off my feet and move on.
I went on a long hike with David yesterday, got damp, was getting a cold last night, came in and went to bed and slept until 9:00 this morning. I am getting ready to go to he Haight to serve a meal and to do outreach. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God1
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